Beauty and the Beach Page 18

  Instead, she’d felt drowned in shame. Shame, embarrassment, and disbelief that it was finally over. She pressed on the accelerator and placed a hand over her mouth as the tears turned into sobs.

  While a part of her wanted to stay with him, letting him assure her that everything would be all right, a bigger part of her just wanted to get away from him.

  They didn’t owe Adam $100,000 anymore.

  Essentially three years of her life, her family’s life, had been restored. Courtney could go to school. Isabelle could move on with her plans. Her father could marry Erin. The relief was huge. It really was like a burden had been lifted off her shoulders. She’d been so ashamed and worried and scared.

  The shame remained. She knew her family must have looked so bad to him throughout this whole ordeal. While she really believed he did want to be with her, while the attraction between them was undeniable, there must be some element of disgust on his part. So she couldn’t help it. She had to get away. They both needed some space, they both needed some perspective, and she just plain wanted to be alone for a moment.

  She wished she could go back in time. To the beginning. To that day when he’d asked her out and she’d realized she’d really wanted to go. When it had just been a boy asking a girl if she would date him. Everything had been level then. They’d been equals.

  His face flashed into her mind--his agonized expression as she’d left him--and her sobs escalated, racking her body. She pulled into an overlook on the side of the road, turned off the car, and, clinging to the steering wheel, pressed her face into the backs of her hands.

  She was going crazy. The further she got away from him, the more she wanted to run back to him.

  It wasn’t like she wouldn’t see him again. She would. She just needed some perspective. She needed some breathing room, some time to think. She needed to be with her family and she needed to feel in control again. She was sorry to have hurt him today, so sorry.

  When she reached that place, when she was in control of herself and her world, she’d give him a call and hope he still wanted to talk to her.

  It could never be perfect again, the slate would never be quite clear. But if all went well, they could start fresh and see what, if anything, could happen between them.

  ~~~

  When Isabelle was out of sight, Adam slowly walked toward the house. He stopped, leaned his hand against a section of brick, gripped it hard enough for the stone to dig into the skin of his fingertips, and forced himself to breathe. He wanted to go after her. It was taking everything he had in him not to follow her home and beg her to come back.

  Maybe he shouldn’t have been so pushy? Maybe he shouldn’t have brought up their kisses? He especially shouldn’t have told her he loved her. Not yet, anyway. Had she seen his feelings as a complete surprise? Unwanted pressure? Needy and pathetic? She’d left as though the hounds of hell were following.

  He finally pushed away from the wall, walked into the house, and ended up in the kitchen. His gut clenched and it physically hurt to be where they’d made so many meals together.

  Seeing the laundry room door open, he hurried inside and looked in the washer and dryer, hoping to find something, but she’d cleaned it out.

  He hurried across the living room, up the stairs, and into Isabelle’s bedroom, hoping she’d left something behind and given him a legitimate excuse to follow.

  He opened the drawers, the cupboards in the bathroom, the desk drawer. He looked under the bed. The entire place was clean and sterile. A guest room. There was nothing of her left behind.

  He pulled the Starfire out of his pocket and studied it for a long moment. He gripped the piece, the sharp edges digging into his skin. Something hard and ugly tightened in his chest. His jaw tightened and with long strides he hurried to his office and opened his safe. As hard as he could he chucked the necklace onto the bottom shelf where it bunched in a corner with a soft chink. He locked the safe. He never wanted to see the wretched thing again.

  He changed into workout clothes and headed to the basement. He didn’t bother putting on gloves, but surged forward and punched the bag. Slam. Slam. Slam.

  He was an idiot. Jab.

  He should never have told her he loved her. Jab. Punch.

  He’d scared her. Slam, jab, punch.

  He should have played it casual. Punch, punch, dig.

  He stepped back and loosened his shoulders.

  Maybe what he should have done was caught her up and kissed her.

  He should have locked her in her room, with him, until she could give him a different answer about where she was staying tonight. Where she was staying for the rest of her life.

  He pictured her, out there, at work, the mall, the grocery store, the bus, finding someone new. Someone better. Someone with an easy smile, who matched her in beauty and kindness. Some blond pretty boy, with smooth skin and an easy stride. His jaw hardened. Punch. Punch. Punch. Slam.

  Darkness overwhelmed his vision as his fists pounded out a solid rhythm. Punch. Punch. Jab. Stab. Punch. Punch. Jab. Stab.

  His knuckles burned and it felt good. Smash, smash, jab.

  Twenty minutes later, sweating and exhausted, he collapsed back onto the weight bench.

  He clenched and unclenched his reddened fists. He breathed in and out for a long time, trying not to think. But he couldn’t stop. What did he do? Wait outside her place? Rent the place next door? Buy her building? What could he do without coming across as a stalker, or worse, needy and pathetic.

  He lay back, panting, waiting for his heartbeat to slow. As hard as it was to accept it, there wasn’t a blasted thing he could do. If she wanted to call him, he’d answer. If she wanted to come back to him, he’d be waiting with open arms. If she so much as hinted she wanted to see him, he’d drop everything and go find her.

  He pushed the heels of his palms into his forehead. In the meantime, he didn’t have a choice. He had to let her go.

  ~~~

  Over three weeks later, Isabelle walked with Courtney through a tunnel and down to Crystal Cove Beach. Both carried beach bags, beach chairs, and milkshakes from Ruby’s Shake Shack.

  They walked past beach cottages, avoiding piles of kelp, and moved to a clear spot on the narrow strip of sand.

  “This looks good.” Courtney dumped her bag, opened her chair, and sank onto it.

  Isabelle did the same. While Isabelle ate ice cream and watched two little boys searching for sea creatures in the tide pools in front of her, Courtney dug through her bag, pulled out a hat, and placed it on her head. She sank back onto her chair, her feet digging into the sand in front of her as she scooped ice cream onto her spoon. “Okay, I’m ready.”

  Isabelle turned and met Courtney’s light-brown eyes. “Ready?”

  “You know, for all the questions.”

  Isabelle felt like she’d walked in on the middle of a conversation. She studied her sister’s pretty face. “Questions?”

  Courtney licked her spoon clean. “Yeah, you know, like have you bought everything you need? How much money do you have in the bank? Are you worried about your new roommate? Do you have enough underwear?”

  Isabelle laughed and dug a cookie chunk out of her Oreo-mint shake. “Well, do you?”

  “Ha!” Courtney pointed with her spoon. “I knew it. I knew that’s why you brought me down here.”

  Isabelle grinned. “What? I can’t just enjoy a beach day with my sister?”

  “Sure, you could, but you won’t until we get these questions out of the way.”

  Isabelle chuckled. “Fine. Just tell me vhat I need to know,” she tried faking a Russian accent. “Zen ve can enjoy the beach.”

  Courtney giggled. “That was terrible. You sound like Dracula.”

  “Sorry. I haven’t interrogated anyone for a while.”

  “Okay, here goes. I’ve gone through my list, I’ve checked it twice, and I have everything I need. I’ve been working my summer job for three years now. And I think I have enough money
to last me at least through next summer. Then I’ll come home and work again. Also, I’m planning to get a job on campus as soon as I get there. So that’ll help.”

  Isabelle nodded encouragingly.

  Courtney shrugged. “I’ve been chatting with my new roommate on the phone, texting, and a little bit of e-mail, and I think we're going to get along just fine.” She lowered her sunglasses to look at Isabelle over the top. “As for my underwear situation, I guess I need to remind you you’re my sister, not my mother. So, basically, MYOB.”

  Isabelle laughed, and lifted her spoon in the air. “Okay, fine. I’ll let you worry about your own underwear.”

  “I’m thinking about getting my own car, just a cheap one to get me around, but I’ll have to see what it’s like at the university first. If there’s parking and all.”

  “That reminds me. I never did ask you why you borrowed my car.”

  Courtney glanced up, then ducked her head. “Do you really want to know?”

  Something in her sister’s voice had Isabelle’s brows pulling together. “Nothing illegal, I hope?”

  “Define illegal.”

  “Courtney, what on earth did you do?”

  “I may have broken into the limo driver’s apartment to have a look around.” She shrugged. “Actually, he left his place unlocked, so I didn’t have to actually break anything to get in.”

  Izzy’s mouth was hanging open.

  Courtney glared at her. “And don’t lecture me, either. I know it was stupid. The guy almost caught me, too. As I was leaving, he was coming home. I barely got out of there in time.”

  Isabelle shook her head. “You could have gotten hurt, arrested.”

  Courtney shrugged. “I know.”

  “Was that all you did?”

  Courtney shrugged again. “I also tracked down the guy with the metal detector from the beach. I had to go at five in the morning to catch him. When I confronted him, he admitted he’d found a necklace. He showed it to me, but it wasn’t Adam’s. When I showed him a picture of the Starfire, he was amazed. He said he was going back to the beach to look for it again. I told him if he found it, I’d give him a reward, but he said he wouldn’t make me any promises.” Her gaze cut to Isabelle. “He’s probably still looking for it.”

  Izzy couldn’t help it. She laughed, and once she started, she couldn’t stop.

  Courtney watched her, chuckled, then said, “The limo guy was a total slob. I had to go home and shower after I searched his place.”

  That made Isabelle laugh even harder, and after a minute or so, she sank back into her chair, exhausted. “I know I should lecture you. Breaking and entering--”

  “Just entering.”

  “Looking for strange men in the early hours of the morning--”

  “He was strange, I’ll give you that.”

  “But I won’t. I’m glad you’re okay.”

  Courtney grinned as she looked out at the ocean. A minute later, she said, “I’ll miss this, you know?”

  “What? Me lecturing you? Me asking uncomfortable questions?” Isabelle teased.

  Courtney smiled. “That, too. But what I meant was, the ocean, California, family.” She glanced at Isabelle. “Are you going to miss me?”

  Isabelle heard the underlying insecurity in her sister’s voice. “Of course I will. How can you doubt it?”

  Courtney glanced down and dug her feet into the sand. She shrugged. “I don’t know. I just, you know, wonder if you’ll be happier without me around. Without having to take care of me and clean up my messes.”

  “Of course I don’t feel that way.”

  “It must’ve sucked, you know, being more than my sister.”

  “On the positive side, I got to boss you around more than most sisters do.”

  Courtney frowned at her. “I’m being serious.”

  “Seriously, Courtney? You know how much I love you.”

  “I know, it’s just that…I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m happy for you, you know? I’m happy you get to finally live your own life. Have you found an apartment yet?”

  Isabelle looked out at the gently rolling ocean. She felt bad that Courtney was right, that she was relieved to finally be able to step into the role of sister. “Not yet. Still looking.”

  “Dad’s really happy in his new job. But after everything that happened, it was pretty cool of Mr. Wilder to offer to give him his old one back.”

  “It was.”

  “So, do you think about him anymore?”

  A sharp pain hit Isabelle in her chest. Did she miss Adam? She took a shuddering breath. “Only all the time.”

  Courtney’s mouth parted. “You don’t hate him?”

  Isabelle shook her head, her gaze dropping to her half-eaten shake, her stomach suddenly queasy. “Nope.”

  “Then why don’t you ever talk about him? Why don’t you call him?

  Why are you acting like none of that ever happened? I’ve been scared to talk to you about it, because I don’t know what to say other than I’m sorry again.”

  Unexpected tears welled in Isabelle’s eyes. “I felt like I had to leave, but now I miss him, you know?”

  Courtney sat up. “Oh, my gosh, Izzy. Are you in love with him?”

  Isabelle laughed and, embarrassed, wiped away tears. She shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

  “Why don’t you talk to him?”

  “I…I don’t know what to say.”

  “But it’s been three weeks. You haven’t even spoken in that whole time?”

  Isabelle shook her head. “He came by the hospital for a checkup twice, and when the other nurses tried to get me to go in to see him, I just couldn’t face him.”

  “Why don’t you just go over to his house?”

  “I’m trying to work up the nerve. In the meantime, I’ve got things to do. Get you off to school, get an apartment, be there for Dad.”

  “Mr. Wilder’s been asking Dad about you. Did you know that?”

  “Dad’s mentioned it.”

  “Anyway,” said Courtney. “What about Dad? Erin’s there for him. You don’t need to worry about us anymore. What do you want?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Don’t forget he was a jerk and made you move in with him and all.”

  Isabelle shrugged. “That wasn’t his fault.”

  Courtney didn’t say anything for a long moment. Finally she lifted her head. “So just say it. You do love him, don’t you?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Maybe? Ooh, there’s a really hot passionate romance for you. Come on, is this payback time or something? You’ve been worried about me for so long, and now you want me to worry about you as I go off to school?”

  Isabelle didn’t say anything. She was afraid she’d start crying if she opened her mouth.

  “Did I get it wrong? If you don’t have any feelings for the guy, if it was a miserable experience with him, then I guess it worked out for the best, didn’t it? I mean, the guy’s heart is broken, and all, and he’ll probably never get over you. But that’s not your problem.”

  “You don’t know his heart is broken.”

  “You just said he goes to the hospital trying to see you. He asks Dad about you. And I didn’t tell you this, but he came into the restaurant where I work. He asked how you were doing. I changed tables with one of my friends so he couldn’t ask any more questions. I was sort of embarrassed to see him if you want to know the truth. He changed his order to go.”

  Isabelle lifted her head. “He came in to see you?”

  “Yeah. But I thought maybe he wanted to yell at me or something. I mean, he only asked the one question. But you could’ve called him yourself if you wanted him to know how you’re doing, so it was obvious that you were avoiding him. So, I ditched his table.”

  Courtney studied her for a long moment, and then patted her hand. “If there’s nothing there, there’s nothing there, right? You’re doing the right thing. It’s better to just cut him off cold turkey
. I’m sorry you had to live with him all that time. I mean, he’s sort of ugly and all, what with those scars. And he limps. And he seems so old. He has to be at least thirty, right?”

  Isabelle sat up. “He’s not ugly!” she said fiercely. “And thirty-one isn’t old.”

  “Aha! You defended him! You do like him! So why haven’t you called him?”

  Isabelle sank back into her chair. “Why didn’t you talk to him when he came into the restaurant?” Isabelle countered.

  Courtney shrugged. “I was embarrassed. I worried he’d say something others would overhear.”

  “There you go. I feel embarrassed, too.”

  “Because of me?” Courtney looked stricken. “And Dad?”

  Isabelle sighed. “It’s more complicated than that. Let’s just say I wish Adam and I had started dating on different terms.”

  Courtney’s brows pulled together. “Izzy, what if he’s the one for you and I ruined everything by losing that necklace? You have to call him. You have to date him. Otherwise, he might be the one who got away. The one you think about, even when you’re with someone else.”

  Courtney placed a hand on Isabelle’s shoulder and shook it gently. “I can’t have that on my conscience. What if you got married to someone else and you pined for Mr. Wilder for the rest of your life? I mean it, Izzy. Call him. If it doesn’t work out, then it wasn’t meant to be. But you have to at least try. For my sake.”

  Isabelle laughed at Courtney’s dramatics. “I’ll think about it.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  ADAM WON.

  Again.

  He couldn’t help but think of the idiom, lucky at cards, unlucky in love. As soon as he pictured Izzy’s face, he grimaced, and tried to focus on shuffling cards rather than on the stabbing pain that accompanied thoughts of her.

  He glanced up to see his friends looking at him, then at each other. “What?” he asked.

  “I didn’t want to say anything earlier,” said Jeff. “But I can’t help wondering where Izzy is tonight.”

  “That’s Isabelle to you,” snapped Adam.

  “I wasn’t wondering that,” said Charlie. “I was wondering when the last time was he showered? I mean, dude, seriously, you have stains on your shirt.”