P.S. I Loathe You (Regency Rendezvous Book 8) Read online

  ~~~

  And … just when she started to feel more settled with her friends, he joined them.

  As one, Julianna and the two men looked at her to gage her reaction.

  She pasted a pleasant smile upon her face.

  “Gentlemen, if I might have a moment with my intended?”

  The men glanced between the two of them, and then respectfully moved away, taking Julianna with them.

  No doubt the respect was for the uniform he wore, or perhaps they even knew of some of his exploits.

  “Intended, is it?”

  He stared at her, and she was well aware of what he was looking at. Flawless skin, red hair, and eyes that had been called pretty on numerous occasions. Of course they’d once been called mud-colored, as well.

  “Now, Lizzie.”

  “Don’t you mean Frizzy Lizzie?” She knew her hair was smooth, no longer in braids with loose pieces floating about her head, and hoped he noted the difference.

  Before she knew what he meant to do, he grasped her hand and kissed the back of it. “You’re lovely.”

  Even through her thin glove, fire seemed to sear her skin.

  It wasn’t fair! She hated this man, didn’t she? Hated everything he represented, anyway. Her lack of freedom, her lack of choices. Even though she knew everyone in the room was watching, she couldn’t help but study him with the same intensity that he looked at her.

  Dark brown hair, skin tanned from being outdoors, broad cheekbones, a strong jaw. It didn’t begin to describe him. All in all, if the man had simply just walked into the room, she would have thought him strikingly handsome in an overtly male fashion that frayed her tender nerves. A quick glance around assured her that other young ladies were watching him as well.

  It wasn’t fair, was it?

  She wasn’t, she reminded herself, that young girl she’d once been, the one with an infatuation for her future husband, vulnerable and ready to be crushed when she found he did not share similar emotions or sentiments.

  “May I have this dance?”

  “Another? I’m sorry, but my card is already full.”

  “That’s all right then.”

  He grabbed her card, looked at it, and when young Lord Ascot approached for his dance, lifted a brow at the other man until he turned and left.

  “It looks as if ye are free, after all. Shall we?”

  She sighed. “You are just as big a bully as you ever were.”

  He chuckled at that. “And are ye just as much a shrew? Mayhap we will do well together.”

  “I’m glad you brought that up.”

  “Ye are?”

  The dance turned out to be a quadrille so they only had the opportunity to speak upon occasion. Not the best place to stage this conversation, anyway, as others could hear as well.

  “Ye were saying?”

  Their hands pressed together as they navigated the circle, and then were swung around by different partners. “All you need to know is that I’d like for us to have a conversation later. About our engagement.”

  He chuckled, “Ye are wanting to get me alone, ye say?”

  Heat seared her cheeks. The man was insufferable. She should have known. He’d been teasing her in their letters the last eight years, and even more so in the last two. She should have known he would not take her seriously.

  When she was swung around by Lord Garvey, she gave the man a sweet smile, hoping MacGregor would take the hint and realize that unless he treated her in a gentlemanly manner, she’d reserve her smiles for other men.

  When it was his turn to clasp her hands again, was it her imagination, or did his hand tighten on hers?

  “I dinnae know that I like ye smiling at other men.”

  She was surprised he’d admit it. “Is that so?” Was all the time she had before she was swept away again.

  If he didn’t like it, perhaps that’s what she should spend her evening doing. She’d have no problem flirting with other men. After all, at twenty-three, she’d attended many seasons and had years of practice.

  The dance ended and she managed to smile at the man beside her, before Alexander came forward and offered his arm.

  She followed him off the floor, and with his height, he must have spotted her mother in the crowd, because he led her directly there.

  Mother, of course, was thrilled to see him.

  “Captain MacGregor. It’s so nice to see you. Of course, we saw the announcement in the paper this morning, and knew you were in town. I guess we’ve some planning to do, don’t we?” She smiled benevolently at the two of them, and Lizzie looked away.

  “Don’t we, Elizabeth?” Her tone was just a touch stern.

  “Of course, Mama.”

  Mother nodded once, and then encouraged the two of them to get some refreshments.

  As they wandered toward the refreshment table, Lizzie hissed at him. “I still can’t believe you put the notice in the paper today!”

  He looked surprised. “Why wouldn’t I do so?”

  “Because I wanted to talk to you about it first.”

  He started to fill a plate with far too much food. “What is there to talk about?” He handed her the plate, and embarrassment over the amount of food piled high had her blushing. “I can’t eat that much!”

  He grinned at her. “I’ll eat what ye dinnae.”

  She set the plate on the table as he started making another plate for himself.

  She glanced around, glad everybody seemed to be giving them some space. “All I’m saying is that you didn’t give me a chance to talk to you before you put the notice in the paper.”

  “Of course, I didnae.” He winked at her. “I wouldn’t want ye to get away now, would I?”

  She felt like stomping her foot. “I was hoping to talk you out of it.”

  At that, he finally stopped filling his plate, set it down, and pinned her with his green-eyed gaze. “What do ye mean?”

  “What do you mean, what do I mean? We’ve talked about this over the years in our letters, about perhaps going our separate ways?”

  “Lizzie. Ye talked about it, but I didnae take any of that seriously. There’s nae getting out of this. It would be dishonorable on both our parts, and I’m more than willing to honor the wishes of our mothers, our parents.”

  She took a deep breath. That was all good for him, wasn’t it? Perhaps she didn’t wish to be married to someone who didn’t want her. Perhaps she wished to be married to someone of her own choosing!

  His jaw was firm now. “Lizzie, the choice has been made.” He went back to choosing different foods for his plate.

  “It’s a big decision. And perchance it’s one I should make myself, and you as well.”

  “I’ve always known I would marry ye, and I will.”

  “No, you won’t.”

  “I will. Just see if I dinnae.”

  She glanced around, aware that people were staring, and resentfully realized MacGregor could care less what the people here thought. “A discussion for another time then.”

  “I’ll gladly discuss anything ye wish, but it willnae make a difference.”

  She glanced around and had to wonder why he was so settled on their betrothal. “Wouldn’t you like to choose a bride for yourself?”

  “Ye are my choice.”

  “No. If I remember correctly, when you were young, you favored blondes with blue eyes. There are several here I might introduce you to.”

  He laughed. “I find myself attracted to flame red hair, and eyes the color of amber.”

  “You once said my eyes were the color of mud.”

  “Surely not. Surely I was never so ungentlemanly.”

  “You were, and you know it.”

  “Well, I’m not now. I appreciate what I have, and I’m keeping it.”

  “It? You mean me? Just let me introduce you around, and we’ll go from there.”

  He laughed. “Introduce me to whoever ye like. It willnae change my mind.”

  “We’ll just
see about that, won’t we?”

  He picked up a fork, ready to dig in. “Aye, that we will, lass. That we will.”

  ~~~

  He watched Lizzie go. So she didn’t want to marry him?

  He’d like to say he was amused, the way he’d been amused all these years every time he received one of her letters, but he wasn’t.

  To be perfectly honest, what he was feeling was hurt.

  Curse it, why didn’t she want him?

  What had he done that was so off-putting? He mentally scanned the contents of the letters he’d received from her over the years.

  The ones he’d penned.

  Of course, he’d ignored her when she’d stated she wasn’t planning to marry him. He’d never taken her seriously, not once.

  So much for him being a strategist.

  He watched her across the room, considered joining her again, and decided to let her have some space. There wasn’t much she could do about it anyway, was there? He could tell her so again, but he suspected that was not the tactic to take.

  He watched as men slowly joined her circle again and he turned away.

  He didn’t wish to be caught gawking at her like some sort of possessive barbarian. He was tempted to dance the rest of the night away, and ignore her completely.

  But that wouldn’t gain him what he wanted, would it?

  As he stood on the edge of the ballroom and considered, a hand fell on his shoulder.

  “Hello, there. Good to see you, old man. What’s it been, two years?”

  Alexander turned to see Drake, Lord Browning, standing beside him and he smiled as his spirits immediately lifted. “Drake, ye old scalawag. I didnae expect to see ye here tonight. The way I heard it, ye had been gravely injured, and were moldering in a castle up in Northumberland.”

  “Reports of my moldering are greatly exaggerated. And as I don’t own an estate in Northumberland, my relocation there would be odd, indeed.”

  He glanced at the cane the other man was using, and raised a brow. “I see ye are playing it up for the ladies. Trying to catch a bit of sympathy and play the fallen hero, are ye?”

  Drake laughed and hit the side of his shoe twice with the cane. “With all these newly returned heroes, a man has to do what he can to get an edge, don’t you know?”

  Alexander laughed. With Drake’s dark angel looks, he didn’t need to attract the ladies. They fell in his path. “Well, good luck to ye. If ye are ready to take a break from all the dancing, gather a plate of food and we’ll catch up.” He lifted his own plate. “The rumors that Lady Somerset puts on a good spread have proved true.”

  “That, in fact, is the major reason I came tonight. That and to get out of the house.”

  They turned and started walking toward the table, Drake with much more of a limp than Alexander would have liked to have seen.

  “I saw the announcement in the paper today. Why aren’t you cuddling up with your affianced?”

  At that, Alexander shot an irritated glance in the direction of the circle where Lizzie stood talking to other men.

  So that was to be her strategy, was it?

  Again, he considered dancing with all the available ladies, but decided not to sink to her level. Why try to win the battle, when you’ve already won the war? “We said our hellos, and as ye know, ’tis not fashionable to sit in each other’s pockets.”

  “Well, fine by me. I’d rather eat then converse with the ladies anyway.”

  Drake found a plate and loaded up on the buffet. After the food they’d eaten in Portugal, it was truly a veritable feast.

  They found a place to sit. “So, having finally met the lady again, is she to your liking?”

  Alexander considered the fiery red hair, her gleaming brown eyes, and couldn’t ignore the letters she’d written over the years. She might not be too thrilled with him at the moment, but that would change, soon enough.

  He couldn’t help but smile. She was just as fiery in person as she had been in her letters. “I am well pleased. The lady isn’t verra happy with me at the moment, but I’m sure that will change once we get to know one other.”

  Drake laughed. “Well, good luck to you. I’m tempted to stick around to watch you court the gel. It would no doubt be quite entertaining, but I’m for the country soon.”

  He rubbed his injured leg as he made the comment and Alexander felt a pang of sympathy for all the man had lost.

  “Don’t pity me, MacGregor, at least I came home.”

  “Just so.” Alexander raised his glass.

  The rest of the evening was spent catching up with his friend, with others who approached him, and finally with his future father-in-law, who encouraged him to give Lizzie just a bit more time.

  It looked like he might be staying in London a bit longer than he anticipated.

  Chapter Four

  Lizzie entered the carriage after a long evening at the party.

  She sat across from her parents, and her father quickly tapped the ceiling to let the driver know to go.

  They both stared at her in the gloom and she could tell they weren’t happy with her.

  “What?”

  “Don’t you what me, young lady.” Her father sounded angry, and since that was a rare occurrence, she was surprised.

  “I don’t understand. What’s the matter?”

  As her father made a harrumphing sound in his throat, her mother leaned forward to place a hand on her knee. “Lizzie. Your intended shows up after an absence of eight years. He’s a war hero, is well thought of, well connected, and after a five-minute conversation, you ignored him the rest of the evening.”

  “He could have sought me out if he’d the desire to,” Lizzie said indignantly.

  “I do believe everyone thought you drove him away with your sharp tongue. Did you?”

  Again, the question was gentle, and she felt heat bloom in her cheeks. “Well, perhaps I did. But I can’t believe he put a notice about our marriage in the paper before we’d even had a chance to talk.”

  “To talk about what?” Her father wanted to know.

  “To talk about the fact that we might not suit after all, regardless of what our parents think.”

  Her father sounded like he was strangling.

  “Oh, Lizzie.” Mother’s disappointment was hard to take.

  “What?”

  “Why do you fight this? He’s a wonderful catch. Don’t think I didn’t notice, and I’m sure you did as well, that when he showed up tonight, he set more than one girl’s heart fluttering.”

  “Not mine.”

  “Not yours?”

  Again, the censure in her mother’s voice shamed her.

  “Lizzie, is it so important that you choose? He’s a good, honorable man, with money and properties of his own. I noticed you talking to that cowboy tonight, and the rumor around town is that he’s looking for a wealthy bride. Would you rather end up with him?”

  “At least the choice would be mine, wouldn’t it? Anyway, Alexander is getting a wealthy bride. What’s the difference?”

  “We know his family.” Her father finally found his voice. “Know you’ll be safe. Cared for. Do you want to go off to live in the wilds of America to be scalped by Indians? And as your parents, what? We sit back and watch you be unhappy all your days, simply because you’re a headstrong girl that wishes to have her own choice? Would you like me to tell you stories of girls who have gone down that path? Perhaps we don’t know their names anymore, because they now live lives of quiet desperation, and not the lives their parents had hoped for them.”

  “All right, already. What is this? It’s either Alexander, or I marry a gold digger who is to make me miserable for the rest of my life? There are no more choices here?”

  Both of her parents fell silent.

  “Look, I know you love me, and I know you want what’s best for me. Perhaps that’s not Alexander.”

  “And perhaps it is!” Her father said angrily. “Did you never think to give the man we’d a
pproved of a chance? You’re simply to cast him aside without so much as getting to know him? Why? Because your parents made the choice rather than yourself? For shame, girl.”

  Tears filled Lizzie’s eyes. “All right! I’ll give him a chance.”

  Her father wanted to say something more, but her mother stilled him with a hand to his arm.

  “Thank you, Lizzie. That’s all we ask.”

  It wasn’t all they asked, and she knew it.

  “I think perhaps a letter of apology is in order?”

  “Another one?”

  “Just so,” Mother said firmly.

  Fine. She’d write him another letter. “Sure, Mama. The moment we arrive home.”

  ~~~

  When Alexander woke the next morning, he wasn’t in a good mood. Partially because he had drunk to excess the night before with his friend, and partly because he immediately remembered that his hopeful reunion with Lizzie hadn’t turned out well at all.

  It was early, as old habits died hard, even when he stayed up late.

  He went downstairs to find Mrs. Black setting up breakfast. She heard him come in and glanced over her shoulder. “Good morning, Captain MacGregor.”

  He headed to the front of the table, where a place setting was already laid. This townhouse had been in the family since his father bought it as a young man. He wasn’t used to taking his father’s spot yet, but sank down in the chair where Mrs. Black had laid a place for him, anyway.

  There were six letters lying beside his plate, and he quickly looked through them. Most looked to be invitations to events in the next few days. But one he recognized as Lizzie’s handwriting and he snatched the letter directly out of the pile. He broke the wax seal and opened it.

  Dearest Alexander

  Apparently, my mother and father believe I owe you an apology for my behavior last night. Apparently I was to hang on your arm, and perhaps dance every dance with you and scandalize everyone. I think that would have been about the only thing that would have satisfied my parents.

  He chuckled.

  No matter. As I promised them most faithfully on the carriage ride home, I am writing you a letter of extreme apology. Apparently my actions of the evening are so horrid, that neither parent wants to own up to having anything to do with me.